Grab a giggle with some of these famous 420-friendly jokes!

Q: How do you know when you are stoned?
A:When you are too stoned to phone home.

Q: Why is roach clip called a roach clip?
A: Because pot holder was taken.

Q: How do you get a one-armed stoner out of a tree?
A: Wave.

Q: What do you get when you eat marijuana?
A:A pot belly.

Q: What do you call a pot smoker with two spliffs?
A: Double jointed.

Q: How do you know when you have smoked enough pot?
A: When you start looking around for the directions on how to use the lighter.

Q: How do you know you’re a pothead?
A: You studied five days for a urine test.

Q: What do you call a person who remembers what they did at Woodstock? A: A liar.

Q: What do you call a pothead who doesn’t inhale?
A: Mr. President.

Q: How do fish party?
A: Seaweed.

Q: Why did the pothead plant cheerios?
A: He thought they were donut seeds.

Q: What do you call one bowl between three tokers?
A:Malnutrition.

Q: What do you call it when a roach ash burns your shirt?
A: A pot hole

Q: How do you know you are a true stoner?
A: When your bong gets washed more than your dishes.

Q: What is reality?
A: An illusion caused by a lack of good weed.

Q: What is the difference between a drunk guy and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green.

Q: How many potheads does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Screw it, we got lighters.

Q: How long does it take before a pound of bud goes bad?
A: I don’t know. I’ve never had it longer than an hour.

Q: How do you hide pot from a hippie?
A: Put it in his work boots.

Q: What is the difference between politicians and stoners?
A: Politicians don’t inhale…they just suck.

Q: What do you call a stoner that just broke up with his girlfriend?
A: Homeless.

Q: If there are two potheads in the back of a car, then who is driving?
A: The Cop.

Q: Why did the stoner cross the street?
A: His dealer lived on the other side.

Q: How do you hide money from a hippie?
A: Put it under the soap.

Q: How did the pothead burn his ear?
A: He answered the phone while ironing his clothes.